I am calling FurryOwlet Virgayjay.

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Today, I wondered why so many kids were such brats. That's when I figured it out.

The parents.

Almost all of them are fucking pushovers, who say that when they were kids that their parents would beat them if they got out of line. But they don't want to do that to their kids because they don't want them to go through that "Torture".

I will not take my own life, instead, I will get married, have children, and be the most stern father that I could fucking be. I will discipline my child(ren), whip them with my belt if they ever talk back to me, and make sure that they do so with their child(ren)

And on my death bed, I will tell my child(ren) that I did it all so I could set an example for future generations.

And now I must ask something...

TheSilverGuitar, will you marry me?

And my dad went out and got me a snubnosed revolver.

But he was a bastard and got me a toy one that shot corks.

I spent the rest of that day shooting him with corks.

I also found an old pair of drumsticks in my basement.

I sound like a guinea pig.

I made a bet with my dad that if I passed today's Social Studies test he would by me a snubnosed revolver.

I think I did a pretty good job. Now to wait for my test to come back.

Also if you don't know what a snubnosed revolver looks like, here is a picture.

Found food in your teeth that you haven't eaten in over a year?

I NEED THEM IN MY MOUTH

NAO

So, my friend came over to my house for the night, an we were fucking around with some stuff we found in the basement, and he went on my laptop, and found a trick where you fill a soda can with the gas from a butane lighter. He filled it up with gas, but there were two problems.

1.) He couldn't light it, because of the child safety thing.
2.) He was to much of a pussy to do it.

I took the lighter from him, lit it, put it near the opening of the can.

"KKKSSSSHHHH" "JESUS CHRIST!!!"

The lighter and can flew out of my hands, as soon as that jet of fire covered my hand.

I ran to the bathroom and ran my hand under cold water.

Hours later, my dad came home from work, saw my hand in a bag filled with cold water. started yelling, took the lighter, and got his aloe Vera lotion.

I started chasing my friend around, while yelling obscenities at him.

And now I have blisters on my hand.

So, today our science teacher took us to the computer lab to do some paper with some website, and when I turned on the computer, I looked at the kid next to me's computer, and it had a black error screen, and you'll never fucking guess what it said was the problem.

IT WAS MISSING SYSTEM32

You could not imagine the expression of happiness on my face.

I was laughing so hard that I was crying.

THIS IS MORE WIN.

So today, because I had nothing better to do, I went over my friend's house. When I got there he told me he wanted to show me something.

He took me up to his room, and he had his guinea pigs on a shoebox with blankets, and he had a deck of cards on the floor.

I had no idea what was going on. He shuffled the deck and pulled out 10 cards. He held 5 cards to one, she pulled out a 2 cards, he got her 2 cards, and she got a Full House.

He held the other five to his other one, she pulled out one, he got her a card, and she had a 4 of a kind.

My friend's guinea pigs can play poker.

THIS IS WIN.