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I jizzed so hard that I died, then came (cock) back to life as a cow, which was slaughtered, then came (cock again) back to life as myself.
Mario's still bald.
michael's concluding statement of this movie:
mario's still bald
Was born on this day.
He is not Jesus.
I am not friends with Jesus.
I hate Not Jesus.
Is the day me and Elvis get married.
And to al- ERROR - You have been temporarily banned from posting to the BBS for 2 days. You have 2 days, 3 hours, 33 minutes and 30 seconds left until your ban is lifted. Do not attempt to create a secondary account to get around this ban. If we find evidence of you doing so all of your accounts will be terminated.
Reason for ban: happy banmas to all, and to all die in a fire
Please read the BBS rules.
So today was another bowling meet, In about the 6th frame, when I went up, Right when I did my back swing, they started playing 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. I immediately froze and dropped the ball on my foot. and yelled "FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
Also, Free cars for everyone!
On Friday, nothing really happened during school hours. But they were doing some after school party, and thought that this could make my day memorable.
I put all of my shit in my locker, then went to the gym, where most of the party was. They were playing shitty hip hop and rap music. I got a drink and left to see what else was going on.
I went to the choir room to find that they were doing karaoke. I searched the song list to see if there was anything good. I found Bohemian Rhapsody and signed up.
It was a total disaster, most likely because I've had some phlegm stuck in my throat for the past few months, the mic was so fucking sensitive, and they had this shitty cd player. After I finished, I threw the mic in the air and ran like it was a fucking grenade. I got about a meter down the hall before the mic hit the ground and caused an explosion of feedback. My ears rang like a church bell on motherfucking Christmas.
They apparently had a game room with games like Battleship, Jenga, and Twister. I jumped and slid across the Jenga table and yelled "MOTHERFUCKING JENGA" Then I found some friends and we played Texas Hold 'Em. I put on my pokerface, which was basically my jacket worn backwards with the hood up. One of my firneds was singing "Pokerface". I bluffed the whole time. I won.
I decided to get some homework done. Some trend whore girl who must gave noticed me doing my homework, and offered to give me a handjob for it. Either she didn't know how fucking terrible I was in Science, or was just plain retarded. Either way, I accepted.
We went into a bathroom and went into a stall. She took off her shirt, pulled out my womb filler and got to work. I expected her to comment on the curve, or the fact that I wasn't fully circumcised. She didn't say a word. In about 10 minutes I felt the jizz building up, And here comes the great part, when I came, it shot right in her eye. Before she could scream, I slapped her with my homework, pulled up my pants, got out of the stall and shut the door. I then climbed up to the top of the door and used this function on my phone that took a picture every half second. (Which I had set up for 10 pictures before hand) I dropped down and yelled "ALSO, FACIAL" on the way out. Everybody looked at me running out of the bathroom with my fly down, and with my belt in my hand.
I went back to the game (OH SHI-) room and started sending the pictures to everyone in the school. Which probably got around pretty quickly, because everyone was giggling and staring out there cell phones. This was probably the greatest achievement in my life.
I went back to the gym and got another drink. I then went back to the game room and started playing 5 Card Draw with a few people. They were talking about the pictures of the girl. I was smiling so much that they thought I had an awesome hand and folded.
I went back to my locker to get my stuff and leave. On the way to the bike rack, I saw the girl, carrying my fail homework, and a mixture of my jizz and her tears falling out of her eyes. The Devil and The Angel on my shoulder congratulated me. I got to my bike and left.
My Friday was cash.
inb4 p0st teh pix lolololol
In Computer Graphics, my teacher was going to assign us this "SUPER DUPER AWESOME ASSIGNMENT", but she couldn't find the instructions, so we all just fucked around on the computers.
In Tech Ed, we watched Apollo 13. When it ended, I pretended to cry and started clapping and yelling "THAT WAS AMAZING"
In English, we did this vocab quiz about these 5th grade words from "A Christmas Carol", then we pinned up definitions to words. I was the only one who got one right. Somebody got 'Spirit' wrong. The teacher put the definition for it as 'Ghost'. I bitched to the student on how he didn't know it.
In Science, some kids were bothering these groups of girls who said they were all gonna fuck some singer named 'Justin Beiber'. I've heard girls blast his music in Computer Graphics. He's Terrible. I joined the kids. We were stealing their binders covered with pictures of that Justin guy, and writing on their homemade 'Justin Beiber Fan Club' shirts. I rubbed my balls on one of their binders. Other guys joked about how they were sure he enjoyed that. Her binder smelt like my unwashed scrotum. It was fun.
On the way to lunch, I saw one of the plates by the classroom doors. The teacher's name was 'Maisano'. I bursted into the classroom and yelled, "HEY, MAISANO, IT'S THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS SUPER SHOW!", then ran.
In math, we were doing an equation scavenger hunt thing. I attempted to jump off a locker, then jump onto this wooden half-wall that separates the hallway from what we call; the 'Computer Quad', because there were computers there. I landed on the half-wall, but when I made it, I fell over, and landed in a chair upside down, and then it rolled and hit some football team guy. He chased me. I'm glad I was wearing running shoes.
In Social Studies, which is my last hour, when the bell rang, I yelled "FREEDOM!" Then charged towards the door and slammed into it, cartoon style. Then I slid down it, Then I got trampled.
I went to the gym with my bowling ball. Then the bowling teams got into the bus and went to the bowling alley. They finally started playing good music, like Queen, Pink Floyd, Etc. They also made us T-shirts. I put mine on and yelled "FUCK YEAH, BOWLING!" I then slammed my forehead into my bowling ball. I grabbed my forehead and shouted obscenities.
Also, throughout the whole day I hid notes with the url to Joe's NG page.
Shit was cash.